So day 19 was a relatively simple day. The dare will require some additional thought as I think about dare’s that were difficult. The dare basically asked me to think of dare’s that I had trouble with and if I felt I needed God. Of course I need God. I’ve been praying and turning to Him every day. There is no way I can do this on my own. I don’t feel I had too much difficulty with any dare as I know my heart is in the right place and I’m committed to knowing what true love is and what Godly love is and I’m committed to providing that to my wife. The difficulty lies with continuing each dare every day and including it into one complete dare called marriage.
The one thing I learned from today, is that no matter what, I’m incapable of providing unconditional love on my own. Unconditional love is something that God must provide through me. I will continue to pray that God works through me to continue to show unconditional love for Rachel.
For interactions today, Rachel and I only communicated through text and a little by phone. I slept most of the day due to exhaustion and to avoid the pain from a certain area that shouldn’t feel pain. Rachel acted loving and concerned for my health and appreciated it and felt that she really did care. I expressed I wished she was there to comfort me in a new apartment and she responded with we’ll see what happens. Still a sign of non commitment, but I know that is how she always makes decisions so I will continue to love her and support her regardless. I’m interested to see what the halfway point brings tomorrow as it’s been 3 weeks already.