For day 23 of the love dare, I read my daily passage and was to reflect on the command to “remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that is stealing away your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse”. While I don’t feel that I have a lot of things hindering our relationship, I did think of a couple things that could be issues now or in the future if we were to be together. These things not only hinder my relationship with my wife, but with my family, and with God. I will not list them all, as they are between myself and my family, but I do recognize weaknesses that I may have when I allow myself to become vulnerable. I wouldn’t say I would seek these things, but when I want to disappear or allow my mind to drift, these things appear. One item is television and music. Something, such as music, that I am extremely passionate about can take away time from those things that are dearest to me. Television can grab my attention whether it be sports or storage wars. I just need to make sure any activity surrounding these hinderances involves the entire family. Focusing on my family and God will eliminate the desire of these worthless objects anyways.
Today, I refocused my attention on loving Rachel and continuing to love her and Haylee. It breaks my heart that I do not see Haylee every day as much as it breaks my heart that I don’t get Rachel every day either. I couldn’t get either of them out of my head and I like that. I love having a mental picture of the two of them at all times and when I can’t draw up that mental picture, I look at my phone. I thought today about Rachel and I and when we were in high school and how tiny we were and how much stupid fun we used to have. Responsibilities obviously take some of that impulsive dumb fun away, but I know we could achieve that again. I wish I could surprise her with a babysitter one night and whisk her away to dinner and a movie like we used to. I wish we could take a walk together or just drive aimlessly. As with previous days, I will continue to put my faith in God and pray for Rachel and our family that His will be done and that He would comfort and protect us all. I know God can and will provide no matter what, I just hope that I can continue to get my strength from Him and to not rely on myself or my own desires.
Almost 2 weeks left and while I’m excited to reach my goal of completion, I feel like I don’t want this journey of understanding love to ever end.