Today was a lesson in lust. Lusting after things brings about anger. I was to identify an area of lust. I realized a few areas but one is posessions. I’ve always wanted to have the big house or the financial stability and money, but it doesn’t make sense for me to lust after it. As I’ve learned, these things are best left in God’s hands. I vow to release these things of lust and do things for love. The only thing I can justify lusting over (to a degree) is my wife.
Today was a difficult day in general for me as I was running on no sleep. By the time I actually do sleep it will have been around 48 hours. That is difficult. What made it easier was my texting with Rachel. I was focued on letting her know how I felt and she was very nice and loving in return. It is days like this where I become more confused as I see the ability for us to communicate well and without strife and then it doesn’t carry over into the next day for some reason.
Today was simple, I’m exhausted so I’ll reserve the right to edit this entry after some rest, however, I will state that I love Rachel and Haylee so much. I was able to take Haylee to school today and cried when I saw her this morning. She is an angel and makes my day. I wish I had both of my girls in my life and I will continue working on myself and loving them both and I will pray that God’s plans be put in motion.